Notes from the land down under

I just stopped for an overnight stay in Melbourne, the land down under. I have to say that I didn’t see a single woman glow or man plunder, so I’m not sure what Men at Work were talking about.

The flight over from Auckland was interesting. It seems Quantas now staffs their flight crews primarily with kangaroos. It is one of those ideas that seem appealing in theory. And it is amusing to watch the roos hop up and down the aisles with the meal service. But it grows old real fast, what with knocked over beverage carts and the like. And the noises coming from the cockpit are rather disconcerting. And do you know how they pass out the headphones for in-flight movies? That’s right, boomerangs!

I was only in Australia for 24 hours, and to be honest I just went there so that I could say I visited the continent. I’m up to six now by the way. Just one left, but it’s the tough one. See if you can guess which while I hum the Final Jeopardy theme… dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum (it sounds better in my head). Yes, it was Antarctica, but I can’t give you credit since you neglected to phrase it in the form of a question. Some American dude on my travels was telling me that he had done an over flight of Antarctica from Patagonia, in Southern Chile, or maybe Argentina. Basically, they just got on a jet plane, flew a few hours south, cruised around maybe buzzing a few penguins, and returned to where they started. I asked him why and the only thing he could come up with was that he had already been to the other six continents. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that flying over a continent doesn’t count as having “been” there. I once spent a few hours in the transit lounge at Tokyo airport, but I would never claim to have “been” to Tokyo. Everyone knows that to get credit for “being” in a place you have to be on the ground, go through customs, and go to the bathroom there (number 1 will suffice). He didn’t come close on Antarctica.

Even though I have now officially been to Australia, I am uncharacteristically going to withhold any comment on it. One of my iron rules is not to voice an opinion on an entire continent unless I have spent at least 48 hours there. I’m sure there’s a lot to be said about Australia, and much of it has been said very wittily by Bill Bryson in his book In a Sunburned Country. I think Bryson nailed it, but I’d need another 24 hours or so of time down under to be sure.

Your faithful correspondent,

Walkabout Dave